in path lab
the residents
pass around organs
and explain
how bones grow out of a lung
how nutmeg forms in a liver
how a colon becomes a shag carpet
and i poke and i prod and i learn
but the first time that i see
a pair of lungs with an embolus
i become diaphoretic tachycardic xerostomic
i stop hearing the resident
i stop seeing the other med students
it’s just me and those lungs
your lungs
in my mind
you’re still in that hospital bed
young
asking me for a can of soda
and i’m still 19
blue-coated
working with my first patients
and you’re not dead
you’re not dead
and then your lungs are in my hands
and they break my heart
they break my heart