Contributing Writer
University of Arizona-Tucson
Hannah is an MD/PhD student at the University of Arizona-Tucson who joined the program in 2020. In 2018, she graduated from the University of Florida with a Bachelor of Science in microbiology and cell science with a minor in bioinformatics. After graduation, Hannah dedicated 2 years at the National Institutes of Health (NIH)-NIDA branch to research novel therapeutic treatments for opioid addiction in a behavioral animal model. She is currently completing her PhD in Medical Pharmacology. She enjoys hiking, trail running, and reading in her free time. Hannah is looking forward to experiencing the variety of opportunities the program has to offer her in helping her decide the right path and specialty best fit for her.
Moving to Arizona for an eight-year dual-degree MD/PhD program was one of the biggest, and reflecting back, best decisions I had ever made. Though at the time, it truly felt like the scariest commitment of my life.
Oh God, what time is it? I stumbled over to my bedside table in pitch-black darkness, thanks to my new blackout curtains, which continue to be the best financial decision I have ever made, and checked my phone that was blasting my alarm.
“Your time starts now. You may begin your examination.” These were the words said moments before a life-altering moment during my high school years.
“How’d you land in medical school?” Whenever someone asks me this, a family of frogs almost always immediately hatches in my throat. My long-winded journey itself doesn’t jerk tears, but the question always reminds me of the day I applied. The same word, like clockwork upon the inquiry, flashes from my heart like it’s a bat signal. “Widowmaker.”
It was just like any other screening visit and I had already organized the clinical trial documents in preparation for the patient’s arrival. The moment that the electronic medical record refreshed to show that our 9 a.m. patient arrived, I knew it was my cue.
The clock strikes 12, and there is silence. My apartment from the street appears to be dark, but the light in my room is on; I am wide awake with my best friend.
In his 2019 Netflix Special, comedian Ronnie Chieng made some of the most astute (and hilarious) observations on a long held Asian-American model minority stereotype. In a short three minute segment, Ronnie delivered over the top impressions of Asian parents’ carnal thirst for ‘money and prestige’ that’s only quenched by having a doctor in the family.
It was a warm summer day in July, and I felt trepidation as I prepared to meet my very first patient. This encounter marked my initiation into the world of clinical practice as a budding, first-year medical student. My patient, whom I will refer to as Bob, appeared to be in his late 50s.
On September 29, 2021, my world started to unravel. My first anatomy lab as a medical student had just begun. I stepped foot in the cadaver lab where the pungent odor of formaldehyde clung to the air, and I was overflowing with eagerness.
Within the first week, the excitement I felt at my white coat ceremony quickly faded as I became overwhelmed and fell behind. Even with seemingly endless hours of studying, I was still doing poorly. I was exhausted every day and neglecting my well-being. For the first time in my life, my hard work was not paying off.
…what remains is the removal of the layered white shroud: the only barrier standing between two humans — one dead and the other alive.
As a person still learning to manage grief, I have to remind myself that perfection doesn’t exist in our loved ones either. We are all imperfect beings, but the best we can do is try, believe in ourselves and tell some stupid jokes along the way.
Contributing Writer
Albert Einstein College of Medicine
Ariella is a medical student at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the Bronx, NY class of 2027. In 2023, she graduated from the University of Southern California with a Bachelor of Science in biomedical engineering.
