Stunted by the shadow of its flow
pouring, rumbling in a lifelong swing
through the raging heart of darkness rings
the steadfast drip: a weak and lonely bruit,
and pitting insult in the turbid skin
with shocking faults to grimly thinning walls
the fallen house still stands; the flagging strands
and edematous sands chafe the burning soles.
Statuesque, he shifts his swollen ruin
laying, turning to dispel the pain
the tightened breath, the hypercapnic brain;
and ushering the mad errata
speaks to the miscellaneous shapes:
a reaction to digoxin
or the amorphous figures fidgeting
with drugs and dials, while he ponders
the pages never written, the stubborn weight
of things abandoned and retained,
the drinks that oft were drunk
and clouds that moped behind the pelting rain
and out of hiding came to bear his fears –
plaques amassing in the tired works
from lipid laden in the careless years.
The children stake their futures,
the old remit their past
to live with wicked fibrillations
while the former pave their path
without the wet, tachypneic throes
breathing without the toll of having
chests like barrels or lungs iron-clad.
Mere words remembered, mentioned in the haste
of fateful falls and bobbing heads –
regurgitations in lopsided beds –
and grudging workers heeding muffled calls
awake physicians to a mourning place:
the red pools surging on this mount
and blue, congested hearts – still – waiting – count
S1, S2, the ominous swishing tune,
pouring out their hollow sounds, commonly found
to be more brisk than the cor permits
while time moves slowly through relentless fits.
They lumber towards the crowded doors
where revolutions start and finish;
the vacant, whooshing valves emitting
lives half-lived, binged, or lived too much;
aged perversely by their eating,
growing clammy to the touch,
and worsened by persistent sitting,
indicted by the minor scut
that filled those pipes in silent smite
and tasked the chambers, flogged the host
with the extremities of stresses,
as they reimbursed organic messes.
The telltale heart uprooted from its floor
to feel its final filling phase no more.
And running on motors and emotions,
bombshells and reverberations,
holosytolic and post-Romantic,
a heart devoid of delectations
strives in denial of a means
to turn back time, to have its body cleaned
of stagnancy and ripe transgressions,
engaging at last the right to life
to a last resort or forceful fight
replayed in echoes, stents, and rays,
ACEs and ARBs and conduction delays.
And always a minute behind
gasping at the gate, this ponderous form of late
finds solace in the daily grind: a way
of catching one’s breath, “yourself” (you jest);
but misplaced beats mistake their step
and fail to grant a moment yet
that does not cause a gasp.
Quoted by your pleural bases
and mindful of the AV gap,
your family surrounds the bed
with worried thoughts now racing through their heads,
with despondent but more youthful faces,
watching this inconsequential test
demonstrate the war beneath your chest,
where crests and troughs affirm the case
and imminent need of permanent rest
during your final excursion
into ventricular rhythm.