Contributing Writer
Florida International University
Rachel is a third year medical student at Florida International University in Miami, FL class of 2025. In 2020, she graduated from University of California, San Diego with a Bachelor of Science general biology and Bachelor of Arts in global health. In 2021, she graduated from the University of California, San Diego with a Master's of arts in global health. She enjoys reading, collecting sneakers, and going to the beach in her free time. After graduating medical school, Rachel would like to pursue a career in Surgery.
My understanding of the reality of pursuing a career as a physician was shattered when I started my third year of medical school. When I entered the double doors of the hospital, I was no longer the main character of my day. Instead, my attending’s patients became the highest priority and feedback transitioned to how I could improve to better serve them.
It started at the age of five. Fair and Lovely — India’s favorite skin-lightening and beautifying cream. I owe this regimen my first memorable medical concern; a rash that angered the skin on my face to scar over redden, burn and peel. I hid indoors for two days, embarrassed for others to see me in public. When the reaction subsided, I remained embarrassed of what stayed — the same ugly dirty brown skin.
When I told my aunt I was going to medical school, she looked me up and down and said, “So you’re going to be a know-it-all.”
As you search your closet / For your scrub cap, / Stethoscope, / And pants,
When you begin clinical rotations in medical school, people encourage you to be as involved as possible in patient care. They tell you to take initiative, to challenge yourself.
I am moving, yet I am going nowhere. I am going nowhere, yet I have come a long way. I do not count how many go by, but each spin demands that I keep moving. With every rotation, I take another step, another leap, one jump on this Earth. These cycles fly by, so much so that I can almost hear them as they whoosh over my head in an instant, making seconds go slow.
Fluorescent lighting, lemon-scented cleaner and recently mopped tile floors. The sights and smells of a hospital floor were slowly becoming familiar to me as I wound my way around corner after corner bright and early at 6:15 a.m. on a Thursday morning.
“We have reason to believe that your daughter is brain dead.” The silence was deafening.
On September 29, 2021, my world started to unravel. My first anatomy lab as a medical student had just begun. I stepped foot in the cadaver lab where the pungent odor of formaldehyde clung to the air, and I was overflowing with eagerness.
I placed the first pill on my tongue, opened my mouth so the nurse could see, closed my mouth, swallowed the pill, and opened my mouth again so the nurse could confirm that I had swallowed it. I had to repeat this for nine more tablets and this drill continued for seven days a week and for seven more months of the treatment.
The purpose of this piece is not to assign blame, nor is it to debate the inciting event for the current state of the people in Gaza. Instead, I hope to inspire you, the reader, to set aside any political differences and to lean into your role as both a human and patient advocate. I urge you to speak up in support of our colleagues overseas, who are treating and operating under the threat of death; for history will not judge our silence kindly.
As we got closer to the ED, the excitement evolved into a feeling of discomfort. It was uncomfortable to feel even briefly excited by another person’s misfortune. I felt a sense of disequilibrium as I realized I had strayed from the delicate balance medical students and physicians continually try to find.
Contributing Writer
University of Massachusetts Chan Medical School
Rohan is a medical student at the University of Massachusetts Chan Medical School in Worcester, Massachusetts, Class of 2025. In 2019, he graduated from Northeastern University with a Bachelor of Science in bioengineering. He enjoys bicycling, hiking, rock climbing, and reading in his free time. After graduating medical school, Rohan would like to pursue a career in cardiovascular medicine.
