I do not want to do this to you
My heart wrenches
For the pain we inflict
Nothing about this is graceful, pure, peaceful
Nothing like death should be
This is all violence and mayhem
All fumbling
All enthusiasm for an experience
To hold your heart
Knowing that we must take it from you first
Must tear it from its roots
From the vessels that sustained you
To hold this foundation
To reveal it by peeling you away
The shocking intimacy
Yet
We know nothing of who you were
Who that heart loved
What those hands formed
We know only that you were generous
You gave yourself
Why?
Did you know what we would do?
Would you understand if we enjoy the destruction that we cause?
Surrendering to the chill of the anatomy lab…
Will you know how my heart aches for you?
Writer-in-Training
University of Central Florida College of Medicine
Allyson is a first year medical student at the University of Central Florida College of Medicine in Orlando, FL. She graduated in 2012 from the University of Southern California with a degree in neuroscience. She is interested in pursuing a career in pediatric critical care or emergency medicine. Outside of school, Allyson enjoys photography and anything chocolate. Fall weekends find her loudly cheering on her alma mater’s football team.