The transition from the classroom to the hospital was an incredible experience. After spending endless days behind a bright screen, I felt an overwhelming sense of excitement to finally apply my medical knowledge and delve into the world of patient care. My first rotation was in internal medicine at a small, local hospital. At first, this setting intimidated me but with time, I gradually grew comfortable interviewing patients, reviewing medical records and interpreting notes from various specialists collaborating with the team. I was finally doing what I have always aspired to, treating patients.
As inhabitants of this Earth, we are aware that few things in life are guaranteed, and one certainty is that all our lives will eventually come to an end. This is a fact we tend to forget but are reminded of from time to time. It was not long into clinical rotations before I personally experienced this reality and my enthusiasm for patient care hit a significant hurdle.
I will never forget the excitement I felt in treating the first patient I admitted from the emergency department. It was a Monday, and I was the first member of the internal medicine team to interact with this gentleman. I meticulously examined his medical history, conducted a thorough physical exam and contemplated differential diagnoses for his shortness of breath. Every day after arriving at the hospital, I would greet him good morning, review his medical records, check his vital signs and inquire about overnight events. Initially, his health improved, but it quickly plateaued. By Wednesday, he required transfer to the intensive care unit (ICU) due to a sudden decline in his condition.
Doubts began to creep in and I embarked on a quest to decipher why he was failing to respond to treatment. The thought of him forever staying within the confines of the hospital walls troubled me. From our perspective, he was receiving the best medical care we could offer, and we persisted in our efforts, holding onto the hope of a slow recovery. However, by the time Friday arrived, he had not improved.
I welcomed the prospect of rest as the weekend began, especially after tackling the steep learning curve that accompanies all new beginnings. I could not, however, shake off the persistent concern for my patient. The thought of him declining over the weekend haunted me, and I wished for nothing more than his betterment.
Returning to the hospital on Monday, I was met with a harsh reality. My patient had been removed from the list, and another patient occupied his bed in the ICU. My heart sank when the resident I had collaborated with on the case informed me that he had gone into cardiac arrest Saturday night. I was devastated and heartbroken by the news, unable to accept that his final days were spent in the company of hospital staff rather than with his family. What had all my hard work been for? Why had I dedicated the past two years of my life to studying, only to face such an outcome for a patient I had invested so much in?
I was left with the task of gathering my emotions and coming to terms with the reality that, as medical professionals, we will encounter many situations like this throughout our careers. I constantly remind myself that life is fragile, and we should find solace in our ability to aid patients during their most difficult moments. The harsh truth is that despite our best efforts, we cannot save every patient we encounter. We must remember to push forward, enrich the medical knowledge within us, and maintain our resilience as we practice the profession for which we have worked tirelessly to achieve.
Image credit: Emergency (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) by xparxy
Contributing Writer
Nova Southeastern University Dr. Kiran C. Patel College Of Osteopathic Medicine
Victor is a medical student at Nova Southeastern University Dr. Kiran C. Patel College of Osteopathic Medicine, class of 2025. In 2019, he graduated from Florida International University with a B.S. in Biological Sciences. Prior to medical school, he worked as a COVID-19 Testing Site Supervisor at NOMI Health. Outside of medicine, he enjoys riding his Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle, collecting character figurines, running outdoors and weight training. After graduating, Victor would like to pursue a career in internal medicine.