Angel: Choosing to Be Vulnerable
It is morning outside, the sun barely kissing the horizon. The curtains have been drawn in an attempt to force any lick of light from the room. But one slim shard cuts through the drapes, illuminating John’s face.
From the Wards
Contributing Writer
City University of New York School of Medicine
Samantha (she/her) is a fourth-year medical student at the City University of New York (CUNY) School of Medicine in Harlem, NY class of 2023. She graduated from the City College of New York (CCNY) in 2018 with a Bachelor of Science in biomedical science and a minor in psychology. In her free time, she enjoys dancing, testing her stomach capacity at sushi buffets, and perusing thrift stores with her younger sister. After graduating medical school, Samantha would like to pursue a career in Family Medicine.
A Reflection on Third Year
Like many medical students, I was vastly underprepared for the emotional turmoil that the nature of the third year of medical school can create.
An Unexpected Apology
Over the next few days, workup revealed she was experiencing paraneoplastic cerebellar degeneration, a manifestation of her occult cancer. In a matter of three days, a patient who had come in for seemingly benign constipation was told she had metastatic lung cancer.
First Day
After our first week on clinical rotations, my third-year medical student colleagues laughed about the silly and awkward things that made their first days hard. Someone was shunned for bumping into the sterile field during their first operation. Someone else couldn’t figure out the scrub machines and was stuck mismatching for the day.
Detectives in Disguise
When I was growing up, I used to love a particular series of video games called Trauma Center. In 2010, they released a version called Trauma Team where you got to play as various medical specialists, one of whom was simply considered a “Diagnostician.” Dr. Gabriel Cunningham’s “cases” were some of the most challenging because you were presented with an array of symptoms, imaging, and lab work and started ruling in or ruling out diagnoses until you got the right answer.
More Than Skin Deep: A Lesson From an Unusual Rash
It was my third day on my home dermatology elective, and I boldly volunteered to see a patient by myself. As a third-year medical student strongly considering dermatology for my future career, I had studied for weeks for this rotation, hoping to make an impression as a confident, knowledgeable and reliable doctor-in-training. Usually, medical students shadow for two weeks before seeing patients on their own, but I was eager to be more independent. This was my chance to demonstrate everything I was working toward.
The Weight We Carry
“You know, not all of us can be small,” the patient, a well-appearing woman in moderate anxious distress, said as she motioned with her hands and rolled her eyes towards me. “It’s disgusting,” she added.
Maintaining Thick and Thin Skin
Third-year rotations forced me to reckon with my emotional capacity as a human and future physician. With each patient encounter, I had to decide whether my skin was too thick or too thin.
Uninterpreted
Three knocks, no answer. “Good morning Mr. Adams!” I call as I peek into his room, flicking the lights on. I am wheeling a small, flailing tablet and it unstably spins left and right, back and forth, until I park it by my patient’s bed.
Still
Mr. Adams had heart; I will give him that. Presenting for ankle pain, altered mental status and shortness of breath, it quickly became apparent that a far more worrisome picture was being painted with each passing day.
Humanity in Medicine
During my M3 rotations, I believe I have learned as much about medicine as I have about humanity. I’ve come to appreciate that to perform well in this profession, we must embrace both its scientific and human elements.
Small Differences in the Face of Death
Every medical student has felt apprehensive about facing death at some point, right? Maybe you have experienced someone dying before, or maybe it is something you have never seen and only rarely contemplated. Regardless, there is a subtle tension lurking during your first two years of pre-clinical studies, during which disease and death are intellectualized and abstract. Then clerkships start.
Contributing Writer
Herbert Wertheim College of Medicine
Daniel is a third year medical student at Herbert Wertheim College of Medicine in Miami, Florida class of 2023. In 2017, he graduated from the University of Florida with a Bachelor of Science in psychology. He also is a licensed EMT in Florida. He enjoys watching sports, trying new foods, and exploring nature. After graduating medical school, Daniel would like to pursue a career in emergency medicine and eventually health policy.