6 y/o F, Patient Perspective of Illness
mom, what’s loo-skeem-ya? / oh okay – does that mean I’m loo-skeem-ya?
Tag: cancer
Contributing Writer
Stanford University School of Medicine
Vivian is a second year medical student at Stanford University School of Medicine in Stanford, CA Class of 2022. In 2017, she graduated from Stanford with a Bachelor of Arts in human biology with a concentration in global health and development. She then pursued a Fulbright in Uganda working on maternal and child health. She enjoys swing dancing, writing, and creating music in her free time. In the future, Vivian would like to pursue a career in psychiatry.
Nose
I take a deep breath / to calm myself / before walking into the storm / of OR shadowing.
The Patient In Room Four
I prepared myself to discuss lab results and dietary counseling. But then my eyes stumbled upon the words on my screen that seemed to be staring back at me: ‘Lung cancer, metastatic to the bone.’
An Encounter Cut Short: A Lifelong Lesson
I was starting my surgery rotation, the second rotation of my third year, on the colorectal service. It was my first 24-hour on-call shift, which meant that my team would be responsible for multiple surgical services overnight.
Inside the Body, Inside the Mind: What Surgery Taught Me About Psychiatry
Perhaps the single most awkward conversation that a third-year medical student can have with an attending physician is the one that begins with the attending asking, “So, what medical specialty are you interested in going into?”
A Crab in the Swell
I float in an ocean of sterile cerulean. / In this deep of drapery and gowns, / One could swim out and never see the shore.
An Oath To Cancer
I wage war on you for you have let my eyes see; / I respect you, for you hold true to your decree. / But, I fight for those who lost purpose to your creed.
Ensconced in His Throne Upon the Sea
I strode down hallways, winding ‘round to meet / A sailor old and take to him his meal. / A gentle bounce in every step on beat, / This home to many always builds my zeal.
Her Wardrobe
In high school, I was obsessed with wearing only vintage clothing. After hours of painstakingly searching every clothing rack at Goodwill, I would find a well-worn baseball jersey or an elaborately bejeweled Christmas sweater. I felt a sense of immense pride in reclaiming someone else’s memories — their winning games, their holiday parties – in an attempt to express my “uniqueness”.
The Supremacy of the Scalpel
We wield the privilege of the scalpel, / Slice skin, / Cauterize the cutaneous, / Disrobe the depths of disease.
A Third Year Opus — Chapter One: Incidental Findings
The white coats and patient gowns that confer the implicit power dynamic of the physician-patient relationship are not to be found here in the operating room. This place has neither the tolerance nor the patience for this subtle symbolism. Here, on the other side of the Rubicon, the rules are stark, the stakes laid bare. The patient lies naked on the table, arms extended on boards, Christ-like, as the surgeon holds the knife handle and plays God.
No Happy Ending
One after the other, day after day it seems, I find myself in a room where the resident is breaking the news of terminal cancer to my patients and I feel an overwhelming sadness belied by numbness. It has only been a week and a half on internal medicine and we have already diagnosed three unsuspecting patients with cancer.
Contributing Writer
University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine
Erica Patel is a third year medical student at the University of Southern California Keck School of Medicine. She studied Narrative Studies at USC as an undergrad, and loves the intersection of stories and medicine. Erica is a board member and medical director of Wema Children Center Inc, a non-profit she started that provides education, housing, and medical care to orphaned and low-income children in rural Kenya. She plans on pursuing a primary care field and working in developing countries while writing about her experiences to increase awareness.
