Medical Student Editor Emeritus
Drexel University College of Medicine
I am an MD/PhD Candidate at Drexel University College of Medicine/Fox Chase Cancer Center. My research focuses on cancer cell signaling, drug resistance, cancer cell invasion and discovery of prognostic biomarkers. Politics (national and international), foreign affairs and healthcare policy are additional topics I am particularly interested in.
White gloves on black skin. The fingers of my gloved hands still interlaced, still resting tensely over her sternum. Elbows still locked. Frozen in the position endlessly refined during CPR training. It turns out that blood flow is important for catheter angiography, which presents a challenge if your patient has no heartbeat. Has not had a heartbeat for 45 minutes.
Medical school is terrifying. This is not something I feel like I am supposed to admit — or let alone feel — because it conveys insecurity. For all the learning we compress into our days as students, we operate in a constant state of not knowing. Perhaps paradoxically so, uncertainty itself seems to be guiding us down the path laid before us. It is as if we are walking with our hands stretched out in front of us, groping in darkness. Every day, we face the unfamiliar, not just in terms of knowledge, but also the larger questions of whether we are turning down roads that feel true to us.
I underwent my first transsphenoidal hypophysectomy, fully believing in the capabilities of my neurosurgeon, who had years of experience and training from a reputable institution, hoping that my surgery would be a success and cure me of Cushing Disease, which had turned my life upside down in its course the past half year.
Have you ever had a sinking feeling in your stomach when you are about to tell something to a patient or family member that might change their life forever? I had that feeling before speaking to the wife of my patient, Mr. Smith. It had only been one day since Mr. Smith was first admitted to the inpatient unit but regardless of how long the interaction is with a patient and their loved ones, some news is always difficult to deliver.
Patients don’t always have to let us into their rooms. As medical students, I think we don’t give enough acknowledgement or praise to the vulnerable individuals that allow flocks of medical students to bumble around their bedside. But our perceived ineptness is the last thing on the patient’s mind; a friendly face that is willing to listen to their story is just as important.
Friday afternoon psychiatry didactic sessions are a holy time among medical students. A golden weekend rapidly approaches and the afternoon, typically spent trudging through paperwork, is instead spent listening to residents talk with minimal effort required to listen. At the end of a frantic third year of rotating, sometimes it’s nice to just set the busy work down and take it all in. Granted, I’ll actually have to learn the info at some point before the test, but for one afternoon it’s nice to be passive.
With more applicants than ever, and a relatively static number of medical school and residency spots, there has been an increase in the use of metrics such as standardized test scores, GPAs and research publications to differentiate between applicants. Unfortunately, an emphasis on the unquantifiable attributes of physicians — the qualities that actually differentiate great clinicians from good ones — seems to have fallen by the wayside.
As young children growing up, we all called each other by first name. So did our parents, relatives, teachers, and anyone else we ran into that wanted a way to identify who we were. As adults, attending physicians are still called by their first names around the same group of people from childhood. However, patients and most of the clinical staff may not even know the physician’s first name. When transitioning from a senior resident to a faculty physician, some event occurs where that beloved first name is molted. After the right of passage is completed, the rookie doctor becomes a veteran doctor; free of restrictions, supervision, and a first name.
The other day, while scouring my computer for a lost document, I stumbled upon a speech I had given for my medical school’s anatomy donor recognition ceremony. It was an event held every fall, right after anatomy, during which our school’s first-year students showed their appreciation to the friends and families whose loved ones donated their bodies to science so that we could better learn the anatomy of the body. It has been a couple years since, so I decided to take another look at it.
My first rotation as a third-year medical student, I met a man who will forever influence the way I approach my patients. He had come to the hospital because of rectal bleeding and was ultimately diagnosed with colon cancer. As I got to know him, I learned that he had fought in two wars, started a successful business and was married for more than 50 years. And he was enormous, six-foot five-inches and 280 pounds, with a voice that reminded me of Lee Marshell — think Tony the Tiger and the guy who sang “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.”
On a recent visit to my parents’ home in Upstate New York, just as the snow had finished melting and our tulips were beginning to sprout, my dad and I went out for a walk. As we made our way down our driveway to the railroad-tracks-turned-walking-trail that runs through the woods near our house, we bumped into one of my dad’s patients. With a hearty grin, the middle-aged man proudly told my dad how his morning blood sugars were improving. My dad beamed, and gave him a big high five. Later, as we walked along the trail, he told me how thrilled he was to see this patient getting the exercise that would help treat his diabetes and high blood pressure.
“When I was in Laredo, I studied cello when I was in undergrad. My ultimate goal with the cello I guess “professionally” was to play cello with the Laredo Philharmonic Orchestra, which I did in April of my senior year. It was a huge deal for me. Since I was really young I always wanted to play with them — [it was] definitely my ultimate goal in music.”
Columnist
The University of Texas Medical Branch School of Medicine
Rosemary Beavers is a medical student at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, Texas. She intends to specialize in neurosurgery after graduating in 2018. Rosemary is passionate about humanism in medicine, feminism and sexual assault education, all of which govern her overarching goal to open comprehensive care clinics in third world countries for survivors of sexual violence. When she’s not studying, she loves to paint & laugh with friends.
Humans of Medicine
Humans of Medicine — rather obviously modeled after Humans of New York — strives to show the personal interests, struggles and humanity that exist behind people who have devoted their lives to the medical profession. Self-identity is too often compromised for the sake of one’s career in our realm, and it’s important for the world to not forget that there exists a music lover, salsa dancer or star chef with an actual story outside of the caretaker role. Humans of Medicine is a compilation of unique stories coming from the lips of doctors, medical students, nurses, PT’s, OT’s and PA’s.
