Contributing Writer
University of North Dakota School of Medicine and Health Sciences
MS III at University of North Dakota School of Medicine and Health Sciences. From Ray, North Dakota.
I recently had the opportunity to shadow a local occupational medicine physician over spring break. I arrived at his office Monday morning expecting a brief day of clinic, maybe some conversation over lunch; maybe I get lucky and he pays for my sandwich. Within minutes of meeting him, though, the physician offered to host me for the entire week on a “mini-rotation.”
Like poker, medicine has certain rules — patterns of clinical symptoms and lab findings each correlating with a specific spectrum of prognoses that vary in likelihood, the differential diagnosis. Physicians are like seasoned card players, trained to maintain composure and incorporate numerous variables into logical, calculated decisions at what seems like a “dealer’s table” of outcomes. Sometimes, we hedge our bets that the patient will self-resolve, so we elect not to treat; other times, we act conservatively with a battery of tests and pre-emptive therapy.
While I could list close to 100 lessons, I believe focusing on three of the most important ones would aid other future health professionals in managing and ultimately treating the chronic illnesses that will become even more prevalent in many of our future patients. As a disclaimer, I do not claim to be an expert on this topic, but these ideas spring from my own personal reflections.
The old woman with long silver hair sat in her wheelchair, feet propped slightly up, smiling toothless among her layers of wrinkles. She waited for me to speak, deferring her decades of matriarchy and adulthood to the stethoscope I wore so casually after just months of earnest experience. Indeed, it sat lightly on my neck today but heavily on my heart. A few more seconds passed, as I contemplated how exactly I wanted to discuss her test results and how exactly I would ask her to proceed.
The other day, while scouring my computer for a lost document, I stumbled upon a speech I had given for my medical school’s anatomy donor recognition ceremony. It was an event held every fall, right after anatomy, during which our school’s first-year students showed their appreciation to the friends and families whose loved ones donated their bodies to science so that we could better learn the anatomy of the body. It has been a couple years since, so I decided to take another look at it.
The counting of compressions permeated the air as we anxiously stood by hoping to see any sign of life. We were trying to save Adam, a young Israeli-Arab who was on our inpatient service due to complications after his hemicraniotomy. He was hospitalized for nearly four months and his vital signs never stabilized, despite our rigorous and numerous treatments.
The beginning of third year clerkships is an exciting time for medical students. The first step of my licensing exam was finally behind me and now I could focus on applying the knowledge into a clinical context. I had heard a lot of stories about the third year of medical school. Perhaps what stood out most were the reflections shared with me when people witnessed death for the first time. From full codes to hospice patients, something about death seemed to draw out the most intense emotions and thoughts that can change lives forever. Although I always try to do the best for my patients, I knew it was inevitable that I would come across death. I wondered what profound thoughts and reflections I would have when I experienced it for the first time. It wasn’t too long before I was called to do CPR in the emergency department and I found it did not play out as I expected.
They’re out of place in dirty Crocs and wrinkled sweatpants. More notably, she’s wiping tears from puffy cheeks. It’s a sharp contrast to the nurses, who are too casual. One makes a remark to the other about a tangled tube. They always get that way. The other chuckles.
My first rotation as a third-year medical student, I met a man who will forever influence the way I approach my patients. He had come to the hospital because of rectal bleeding and was ultimately diagnosed with colon cancer. As I got to know him, I learned that he had fought in two wars, started a successful business and was married for more than 50 years. And he was enormous, six-foot five-inches and 280 pounds, with a voice that reminded me of Lee Marshell — think Tony the Tiger and the guy who sang “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.”
A 45-year-old with no past medical history presented to the emergency department with altered mental status. He was found face down in his driveway with no memory of an inciting event, or of his ride to the hospital. In the emergency department, the patient revealed that for the past two months he has experienced headaches, dizziness and left-sided weakness. On a hospital admission two months prior the patient reported similar symptoms but left against medical advice before any meaningful diagnostic testing could be conducted.
One after the other, day after day it seems, I find myself in a room where the resident is breaking the news of terminal cancer to my patients and I feel an overwhelming sadness belied by numbness. It has only been a week and a half on internal medicine and we have already diagnosed three unsuspecting patients with cancer.
Although there is really never a right time to die or even witness death, it is important to acknowledge that death is a reality, and one to which all health care practitioners will be subjected at some point in time. For that reason, I raise the question: is there an appropriate time to lose a patient? From my perspective the answer is yes, and for good reason.
Contributing Writer Emeritus
American University of Antigua College of Medicine
George is an MD/MHA candidate at AUACOM currently completing fourth year electives at various hospitals in Brooklyn, NY. He has participated in research studies at Drexel University College of Medicine as well as Wyckoff Heights Medical Center in areas of both adult and pediatric medicine. He originally obtained a Bachelors of Arts in Religion and later decided to pursue a career in medicine upon working for a hospice agency shortly after graduation. Now currently in New York, George feels fortunate enough to experience the spectrum of patient cultures and ethnicities which he feels has provided him with the most diverse foundation owing to opportunities he never thought were possible.
