Contributing Writer
Florida International University Herbert Wertheim College of Medicine
Alex is a second year medical student at Florida International University Herbert Wertheim College of Medicine in Miami, Florida class of 2027. In 2020, he graduated from Florida International University with a Bachelor of Science in biology. He enjoys reading, songwriting, and cooking in his free time. After graduating medical school, Alex would like to pursue a speciality in Anesthesiology.
Oh God, what time is it? I stumbled over to my bedside table in pitch-black darkness, thanks to my new blackout curtains, which continue to be the best financial decision I have ever made, and checked my phone that was blasting my alarm.
As patients moved in and out of the modest office for their appointments, their duffel bags and luggage in tow containing all their personal belongings, the day unfolded in typical fashion. Yet, within the confines of this psychiatry office catering exclusively to the local unhoused population, “normal” took on a unique meaning.
“Your time starts now. You may begin your examination.” These were the words said moments before a life-altering moment during my high school years.
It was Valentine’s Day morning with about thirty minutes until rounds when I noticed Madeline, one of our medical students, approaching. I took my eyes off the WOW to greet her, and she shakily said that the nurse had just told her that a patient was pulseless.
A light knock at your hospital room door and my introduction: “I am a first year MD-PhD student. Thank you.”
Every day after clinic, I eagerly anticipate the serene stroll along Brickell Key, a therapeutic journey that has become a source of solace. I look forward to the sound of palm trees swaying and waves crashing. I am excited about being greeted by wagging tails of enthusiastic dogs, eagerly seeking attention with their beady eyes.
No matter how much I learn, some things cannot be taught. There was no prepared script and no checklist to follow when my father tersely told me, “Your uncle in India passed.” Five solemn words and a pregnant silence. His eyes, rung with the blue of cataracts, did not shed a tear. Instead, they were fixed on an empty corner of our worn sectional couch.
My patient sleeps peacefully. / I wake him guiltily. / I don’t want my face to be the first he sees.
When I told my aunt I was going to medical school, she looked me up and down and said, “So you’re going to be a know-it-all.”
I start the day like most of us do: stimulating the needy vessels we call bodies with caffeine. As I open up my coffee jar to dispense ground Turkish coffee beans, I am met with a hint of loving bitterness. It carries a comforting brown sugar warmth that often stirs a sense of weakness given my inherent dependency on this substance but also commands secure boldness through notes of molasses and dark chocolate.
The once-sterile hospital room had become a sacred space, where the raw emotions of love and loss hung in the air. The young daughter, vibrant in her essence but tethered to life support, teetered on the precipice between existence and the inevitable.
We are given tools to imitate their behavior, in hopes that we ourselves will one day embody that behavior. Mechanical checkboxes on the standardized exam with standardized patients. Cannot forget a single step. But life is not standardized, is it?
Contributing Writer
Anne Marion Burnett School of Medicine at TCU
Chandana is a medical student at the Anne Marion Burnett School of Medicine at TCU in Fort Worth, Texas, Class of 2025. She graduated in 2019 from the University of Washington with a Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry and a minor in Medical Microbiology, and furthered her academic pursuits with a Master of Science in Physiology from the University of Cincinnati completed in 2021. In her free time, Chandana enjoys singing and was the founder of a band called UW Unplugged during her undergraduate years. She is also a trained classical dancer, and loves to read mystery novels. After graduating from medical school, Chandana aspires to pursue a career in promoting cardiovascular health in women through a blend of clinical practice and public health initiatives.
