Contributing Writer
Jacobs School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences
Salma is a second-year medical student at Jacobs School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences in Buffalo, NY class of 2024. In 2018, she graduated from State of University of New York at Buffalo with a Bachelor of Science in biomedical sciences. She enjoys photography, instructing fitness classes, and cooking in her free time.
I was deep into my pre-clinical courses as a first-year medical student and struggling to carve out time for the other things I loved in this world, like hiking. This image was taken on a hike on one chilly October day when I finally managed to get away and hike a local trail.
This is a portrait of my friend and fellow medical school classmate, Brandon. His smile reflects the joy that comes with finding one’s purpose and understanding that one can benefit others through medical learning.
When I originally came to the United States for medical school, I was very nervous. I knew no one in Minnesota and was separated from my family by a greater than six hour flight to another country.
If I don’t text back / Please don’t think it’s you / It’s the abundance of info / That I must go through
On Monday morning, a medical assistant finds me with a nasal swab in hand. I scribble my signature and temperature on the form he hands me. “Ready, Maria?” he asks, and then laughs when I groan in response. I tilt my head, close my eyes and wait for the worst part to be over. After 15 minutes of waiting in the student workroom, he tells me I am COVID-19 negative and set for the week.
How was I going to navigate living alone, so far from family, in an unfamiliar state? Who would take care of me if I got really sick? And most importantly, how would I deal with loneliness?
“Abuse is of use.” / That is what we tell ourselves. / That it makes us stronger.
The power and beauty of writing rest in a process of active narrative formation. The act of expression helps us make sense of what happened, integrate this into our sense of self, and clarify our values that will influence our next steps. Conveniently, our expression serves as a record of both identity and narrative formation, giving us a glimpse of ourselves more intimately than we typically take time for.
Instead, I was worried that medicine would consume me only to regurgitate me as a mere collection of cells and systems — just like those I would be expected to regurgitate on the test. I was worried that the demands of knowing it all would make me believe that I could know it all, that there is nothing in the spaces between what we know. I was worried that bathing in science would make me stop believing in art.
The Match process is an emotional roller coaster ride that feels like it lasts forever but also flies by. Being on the other side and looking back, I wanted to do my part and share my thoughts about how to stay grounded and sane during this time.
A classmate of mine committed suicide a few weeks ago. Though I’ve heard the harrowing statistics about physician and trainee suicide rates, to be honest, I never expected to personally encounter such a tragedy. The small classes at my medical school allow for a strong sense of community in which we all know each other, celebrate important life milestones, and happily reconnect when we’re together after clinical rotations scatter us throughout the hospital.
My medical school career was complicated by more than just complex cardiac physiology or biochemical pathways. Little did I know that at the end of my second year I would go from knocking on a patient’s door during a clinical session, to sitting in an exam room myself.
Contributing Writer
Pennsylvania State College of Medicine
Dolly is a fourth year medical student at the Pennsylvania State College of Medicine in Hershey, PA class of 2022. In 2017, she graduated from Rutgers University with a Bachelor of Science in public health. She enjoys traveling, painting, and doing yoga in her free time. After graduating medical school, Dolly would like to pursue a career in internal medicine, with a specialization in women's health.
